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oomshi:

i’m going to glue 1,000 cotton balls onto my body so i can finally become a cloud

snorlaxatives:

this is my new favorite twitter account

snorlaxatives:

this is my new favorite twitter account

when you over-hear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud

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things i like (as demonstrated by jensen ackles)

friendlyneighbourhoodpizzaman:

  • the jaw thing:

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  • the bicep thing:

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  • the arm thing:

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  • the back thing:

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  • the hip thing:

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  • the hip bone thing:

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  • the shoulder thing:

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  • the perky nipples thing:

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  • the butt thing:

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  • the tummy thing:

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  • the boob bouncing thing:

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  • the bowlegs thing:

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  • the whatever this thing is:

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{Jared Version} {Misha Version}

I’ve got a pretty morbid voice, so I sound quite calm even if I’m not.
Harry Styles (this asshole)

sadsk8r:

doctors: why are all your bones broken
me: totally gnarly kick flip
doctors: fucking savage bro

deanismypatronass:

cocolooo:

deanismypatronass:

cocolooo:

i love high contrast photos of fruit floating threateningly in the night

I don’t believe such a thing exists

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I was mistaken

refreshinglyclassic:

burningoleander:

midnight-emotive:

'if lesbians use dildos why don't they just have sex with a man?'

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'if straight men like fucking women in the ass why don't they just fuck men?'

Finally, a brilliant response to a dumb question.

fartgallery:

hey guys I know its the middle of the night and im currently robbing you but I just heard a spooky noise in your kitchen and now im scared… can I sleep in here with you guys?